10 Tips Of How To Make A Loving Connection.

10 Tips For Making Loving Connections Fast!

You know sometimes in the hustle of everyday life, it's easy to forget to tell our loved ones just what they mean to us.  But don't be put off as it doesn't have to take a lot of planning.  Love is in the little details that make up our lives. You’ll find me I’m Genovieve Relationship Solution Therapist in Wycombe, and even though  I Coach others, I  still choose to follow my own tips or what others say that works. None of us are faultless and we all are a working progress to getting our needs met by the right person’s. So...



Tips For Couples To Improve Connection.

Do you ever feel like you catch up with your partner infrequently, often late at night when you’re too tired to speak?  Or when your timetables happen to collide?  There are work dinners, school outings, sporting practice, dinners with friends, homework to supervise, household chores and so the list goes on.  Do you feel like you need to make a date night just to spend some one on one time with your other half?  Time when you’re not sleeping? 

If this sounds like you then I’m sure you will enjoy these tips for keeping each other close at heart, even if you can’t always be as physically close as you’d like. 

It’s all about communicating and sharing the little things that make up our lives.  Here are ten easy ways to make your feelings known:

1.       Birthday love letter.  There is something powerful about a letter.  A few years ago my partner and I agreed to write a love letter for each other’s birthday.  I think I picked it up from a magazine article about Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise.  Apparently it’s something they used to do in lieu of expensive presents.  Obviously it didn’t work for their marriage but we’ve found it has become the part of our birthday celebrations that we enjoy the most.  Writing down all the things that you love about the other person and then giving it to them is a very personal and thoughtful thing to do.  In many cases its better than any gift you could possibly imagine and something to appreciate and cherish even when the birthday is a distant memory.  You can do it for your children too if you have any and they will never need to doubt that you love them.   Of course, you don’t have to wait until it is your loved ones birthday to send them a letter – anytime is a good time to tell them how you feel about them.

2.       Sit down and talk about your day.  When we can we sit down at the table to eat our evening meal and take it in turns to talk about what we did in our day.  Even our two and a half year old joins in.  For a long time he would talk about who he saw rather than what he did but now he’s getting the hang of it.  The other thing we take it in turns to do is name the best and worst things that happened that day.  Sometimes so much happens each day that it helps to pause and reflect on what were the highlights and lowlights.

3.       Celebrate all your partner’s successes with them – from a high five to a glass of champagne.  Whatever the scale of the success calls for, make it a joint celebration.

4.       Allow yourself to be impressed by your partner and let them know.  ‘I’m proud of you’ is something that I think everyone loves being told by someone they care about.

5.       Never underestimate the power of a hug – train your kids to hug you back.  My five year old son Jack loves hugs.  He loves giving them and getting them.  Sometimes he will spontaneously hug someone if he feels they are a bit sad, although usually he asks first if they would like ‘a Jack hug’

6.       Send them a photo that means a lot to you and tell them why its important – you could use a Show & Tell Card.  It’s a new type of greeting card that lets you stick your photo on the front and is blank inside so you can write what you like.   Go to http://www.showandtellcards.com for more information

7.       Share an experience.  It could be a movie, a new CD, magazine article, or a short story.  Talk about what you read or saw and why you liked or disliked it.   And do it regularly.

8.       Compliments.  Everyone loves getting them so never pass up the opportunity to give one of these reliable mood boosters.  You can give them in person or write them on a small piece of paper and leave them somewhere unexpected for your loved one to find.

 

9.       Dance.  It doesn’t take long to find a great song you both enjoy, put it on and dance around the living room floor – probably 5 minutes maximum but it is a wonderful way to physically reconnect with each other in between dinner and desert or at the end of a long evening or you could make it an unusual way to start your day.   

10.   Thoughtful gestures.  Doing something unexpected, especially when you’re loved one is busy and stressed, is a lovely way to show that you understand what they are going through and that they have your support. 

Showing your partner how much you love them need not take a lot of time and you will be rewarded many times over for your effort.  Get loving today!
Genovieve Feasey Relationship Solution Therapist
Relationship Coaching in Wycombe, Buckinghamshire

A Parents Relationship with Children and Exercise.

Was Parenting Easier Forty Years Ago?

 As a mum in the millennium, I dream about the idea of parenting in a world where streets are safe and parents can let their children run freely through the neighborhood, their bodies naturally challenged with the exercise of play.

 Instead today, before the slam of the car door fades and the backpack drops on the floor, the TV is switched on and the last few hours of daylight disappear in a haze of video games and over processed snack foods.

 Even the concerned, well-meaning parent can often stand helpless, wondering how to compete against marketing genius and instant gratification. Exercise and carrot sticks have a hard time competing with Xboxes, SpongeBob and potato chips.

 The proof is all around us. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the health of too many British Children is in danger because of unhealthy lifestyles. (www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity)

 In America the latest data from the National Center for Health Statistics show that 30 percent of U.S. adults 20 years of age and older - over 60 million people - are obese. The CDC reports the percentage of young people who are overweight has more than tripled since 1980. In the UK, ths statics prove currently to be slightly lower, however massively on the increase to Childhood Obsesity.

 My young men/boys aren’t obese - why should I be concerned? I think i've done a reasonable job, in teaching them the meaning of Diet!

 Your kids are normal, right? You are parenting just fine. But in a world where walking is limited, school P.E. programs are being cut, and cars, elevators and buses eliminate our chance to exercise naturally, we need to make a concerted effort to make physical activity part of our day and our children’s days.

 Despite all the benefits of being physically active, most Americans are sedentary. (www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/contributing_factors.htm). Inactive children are likely to become inactive adults. (www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4596)

 So as parents how can we get our kids moving?

 I Read in an Article from the "The American Heart Association" it states and recommends that children and adolescents participate in at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day."

 The great news is exercise comes in many forms and can be a lot of fun! With a little creativity you can easily add some fun physical activity into your parenting style.

1. Lead the way 
You need to set a good example. Kids, especially younger children, naturally follow their parents. So make sure you are looking after your own health and making physical activity a priority in your life.

2. Do it together
In today’s overscheduled world, we need to make sure we are spending quality time with our children. What better way than to be active together. Since kids can’t be alone roaming the neighborhood, parents need to play with them.

3. Make it fun
Put on some music and dance. Play tag. Roller blade. Basically just play. Provide them with toys and equipment that encourage them to be active while having fun.
Bikes, scooters, hockey sticks and football will get your kids moving and active. For preschool children, ride on toys that get them exercising like pedal cars, big wheels and tricycles are always a great parenting decision.

4. Cheer them on
Create positive reinforcements with encouragement and support. Help them find sports and activities that build their self esteem. Attend their sporting events and let them know you are their biggest fan whether they win or lose.

5. Turn it off
Of course, we need to limit the time our kids watch TV and play video games. But make sure you do it in a positive way. If they are angry that you just turned off their favorite show, they might not be too excited about going out cycling with you.
Allow screen time during designated hours, preferably after homework is done and when physical activity is finished, like in the evening or on Saturday morning when tired parents might need to catch a few extra minutes of sleep.
Adding more physical activity into your family’s routine will help you all feel better and get you having more fun together. Most importantly, as you model a healthy lifestyle you will help instill in your children lifelong habits and healthy attitudes toward exercise and physical activity.

For Family Advice or Counselling visit www.thechoicetochange.com Genovieve Feasey FamilyTherapist in Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, and London.A Parents Relationship With Children and ExerciseFamily Therapy for Relationships