How Will Your Health Effect Your Relationship?

How Will Your Health Effect Your Relationship?

Men do you know what health checks to have?

There are seven recommended health screening tests that all men should consider having run in the interest of their own good health and long life.  All seven tests may not apply to all men.  Four of these tests, however, do apply to all men at different ages.

Health Screening Tests for Cholesterol
Most men just don't believe they have High Cholesterol and don't take the time to have it checked.
For most men, you should have your cholesterol checked every 5 years starting at 35.

 How will your health effect your Relationship?

However, if you smoke, have diabetes, or if heart disease runs in your family, you need to start testing at the early age of 20.
If you are overweight - you need to get that check up now no matter what your age.

Testing Your Blood Pressure
You should have your Blood Pressure checked at least every 2 years. You need to see your physician for this. The blood pressure machines at the corner drug store may need calibration and are not accurate.
High blood pressure does not have any symptoms and you won't even know you have a problem until it is too late and a stroke cuts you off at the knees.

Colorectal Cancer Health Screening Tests
Regular Colorectal Cancer testing should begin at 50. There is more than one kind of test available, so don't chicken out. Just get it done.

Diabetes Screening
If you have high blood pressure and or high cholesterol, your physician is going to test for Diabetes. If you are overweight, your physician is probably going to run this screen at the same time as the cholesterol screening.

Prostate Cancer Screening
Talk to your doctor about the possible benefits and harms of prostate cancer screening if you are considering having a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) test or digital rectal examination (DRE).

Sexually Transmitted Diseases
You need to be up front with your physician on this subject. You also need to consider an HIV problem if you have ever had a blood transfusion. Hiding your head in the sands of denial will not change the reality of the situation.

Depression Screening
This is probably the most controversial subject after sexually transmitted diseases. Many men were brought up to "bite the bullet" and keep quiet about any problems they are having. Generations of women have complained that their men just don't share.
Everyone goes through periods of depression occasionally and for most people those periods only last for a few days and it is easy to say the reason why you are depressed. There are certain "acceptable" reasons for depression - losing a job, illness or death of a loved-one, or work stress just to name a few.

However, if you've felt sad, or hopeless, or have little interest or pleasure in doing things or if you just want to sleep all the time for a period of 2 weeks straight, talk to your doctor. You might find that with just a little help you can get back to your normal happy self.

Do not allow your Doctor to just put you on anti-depressants. Taking pills without doing something to change the situation or your attitude will only make it worse in the long run.
Remember guys, Real Men Take Care of Themselves in order to take care of others. Real Men Ask for Help and Directions when necessary. Real Men take steps to insure they will be around to bounce their great-grandchildren on their knee.

Will Your Relationship Survive The Menopause?

Do you Wonder will your relationship survive the 'Menopause'?  Couples going through menopause often have unique struggles when coping with the new changes and challenges it brings to them both as individuals, and as partners. It is an inner battle – mentally and physically – for not just women, but men as well.



Will Your Relationship Survive The Menopause?

For women, it may be hard to get a male partner to understand and be able to empathise with her challenges. But both sexes go through a form of menopause, and this transition is disruptive and even scary, and a certain level of understanding and communication is required for any one to have a quality relationship at this stage of life.

For some women, what can show up is pent up aggression, that is taken out on a male partner by pushing him away and/or making him unable to relate to you on a physical level. At this stage you may wonder will your relationship survive the menopause?  Men need to know that the loss of desire for sex may be caused from the hormonal changes, but there might also be an emotional element that needs to be dealt with.  It is advisable that men in menopause couples acquaint themselves with the effects of menopause, in themselves and their partners, in order to better understand the changes their relationship is going through.

Relationship Counsellor

Men soon realize that hormonal imbalances are causing unwanted emotional symptoms in women that could lead to verbal spats every now and then. Men need to be aware that emotional changes are likely to occur and that they are not to blame for them but that their partner may require extra attention, love and outward expressions of caring more now than ever before.

A partner needs to understand that their sexual drives could also have changed as they experience a slower loss of testosterone. To keep sexual interest, partners may need to put more time and attention into the quality of their sex lives and ‘update’ themselves on what things turn them on at this stag of the game.

Men need to know that a decrease in estrogen in their lover’s bodies – can significantly alter how she thinks and feels about sex. In addition, vaginal discomfort and thinning of the lining of the vagina can make sex painful so it will not be enjoyable for either of them until they find a solution for this.
More than ever this is a critical time for couples to communicate more about the changes they are both experiencing.  A man  can often lose a lot of the aggression that once fuelled their younger years and they are happier to stay home and engage in more nurturing activities, that they never paid attention to before, such as cooking.  Whereas for a women, on the other hand, we may want to venture out into the world and pursue a long-thought about career. They become more aggressive and passionate about accomplishing things.

In this way, the couple almost switch roles in the relationship. Talking a lot, expressing ideas, and bonding with one another again becomes critical during this transition. Maybe a man needs to know what is happening to their women on a day-to-day basis, and visa versa. A women may need to have their man  cheer them on as they undergo significant changes including dealing with physical discomfort, hormonal imbalances, and possibly venturing out into the career world for the first time!

A man could benefit by understanding that sex isn’t going away totally and they can survive the menopause.  Explore sexual alternatives and realize that having less sex is not the end of the world! Experiment with vibrators, and oral sex, if you haven’t already as these are fine alternatives and to maintain a healthy sex life. Women love toys as much as guys do. Menopause might mean taking more time for foreplay for some women. Get into a habit of communicating your needs to each other and learn to enjoy the changes instead of fighting against them.

The most important thing is that Male Partners provide a social network for their menopausal women to rely on. Realize that menopause is only a phase, albeit the end of the old and the beginning of a new one, and it’s possible to adjust to the changes by remaining aware. By staying informed of each other’s thoughts and feelings and becoming tolerant and understanding to the emotional pains women can go through, menopause couples can overcome most difficulties. And, who knows, you might like the new person you wake up to better! Think of it as another adventure. You will survive the menopause.

If all else fails please get in touch with me I offer assistance in this specialised area of Relationship Communication. Contact Genovieve Feasey Counsellor in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. Or Rochester, Kent.

Hypnotherapy And Psychotherapy To Raise Your Confidence

How many of us are not confident about how we handle life’s situations? Truth is you may be confident in some area of your life but not others. Use Hypnotherapy And Psychotherapy To Raise Your Confidence



Find the Confidence Using Therapies

I grew up reasonably confident as a young child, later into young adulthood finding myself becoming shy about my looks, body. Became less comfortable about where and whom I would be with. In my young stages of motherhood I had the confidence and persistence to getting out and mixing with others for the sake of my children, later middle aged regressing again and becoming particular with whom I was socialising with. I noticed people around me would trigger less or more confidence.
 Hear What Anthony Robbins say's about overcoming 'Lack of Confidence'.

Recent years I've grown out of 'Dis Comfort zone'. I always stayed in the background and tried to make myself less noticeable. It was especially painful in-group activities that involved boys  later men. This was a major step for a young girl later woman to recognise my lack of self confidence and self esteem.
I have taken the steps to do some major therapeutic work on self, I used Hypnotherapy And Psychotherapy To Raise My Confidence which has helped me to clearly recognise the discomfort with how I and others relate to me. My journey over 10 years has had me discover what I love or dislike in my life, fulfil ambitions, take challenges and calculated risks to feel peaceful and enthusiastic about life.

I wonder if this ring a bell for you? How do you  confront what you don’t want to in your life? How do you achieve what you Desire? Oddly enough it was my Son's who really inspired me and  their friends. At 12 years old they signed up for courses and activities. It was something they really wanted to do. They taught me how pursue your dreams and enjoy life in the moment, they taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin in front of a lot their friends and not to be shy they were very accepting and judgmental.

When you have confidence and poise you will stand out and even if you don’t feel completely comfortable having an awareness of this, helps to overcome it. Often you see people in sports with the same confidence. If you make yourself look confident (act as if) soon you will realize that you are. Motivational posters in your home or work place are a great way to remind yourself what you are wanting to accomplish. There is a great motivational video's which offer Hope, Inspiration, Belief in where the next steps can lead us with being Courageous and Persistent “Have the courage to stand out”. Have confidence and poise and you will stand out!
Enjoy the adventure!

Thoughts and Feelings from Genovieve Feasey Relationship, Trauma Psychotherapist, Coach. High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire.  Rochester, Kent. Member of BACP and Member of GHR find me in the  (Click here)... U.K Counselling Directory

10 Tips To Get The Best From Online Dating.

How to Get the Best Results from Online Dating.

Would you let a person you have just  met online to
change your life? Are you willing to do this?  Do
you trust someone you have met this way? In this article I am (Relationship Coach In High Wycombe) offering 10 Tips to get the best from online dating, have a read and improve your chance to change your romance.

SOME people simply do not have the courage to let
an online dating/relationship to develop and change in a
normal healthy relationship. Are you one of them?
Let me re-ensure you that online dating/relationships
really are working, and yes it can change your
entire life, in a good way.

10 Tips To Get The Best From Online Dating

But there are some impediments or mistakes which
are leading to the end of the relationship
between two people that could have had a good
future together these 10 tips to get the best from online dating can be effective read on:
1. First of all if you do not take people you are
taking to too seriously, you will be treated the
same way.

2. Being too secret and reserved. If you do not
tell things about you and you are not working to
develop a relationship, nobody will make this for
you.

3. Trust or lack of trust is the biggest
impediment of an eRelathionship. You have to try
to get the people you are taking to trust in you,
and then find out if that person is a trustworthy
one. There are so many ways to check out this.

4. Being shy. If you are interested in someone
and you want to meet her/him offline, let her/him
know this.  What do you have to lose?

5. Fear of disappointment or fear of becoming a
victim of someone with bad intentions can make
you paranoid. It is good to be preventive but not
exaggerate about this. It is not funny and will
pull people away.

6. Unbelieving. If you do not believe that an
eRelathionship can become something more then it
is, you will not pay too much attention and...
You get exactly what you give and some more, don’
t you?

7. Do not make that relationship a priority in
your life. Any human needs to feel that is
important for someone, that is the center of
someone life, even if you have meet that human
online. Don’t you feel the same? Wouldn't you pay
more attention to someone if you would know that
you are a priority in his/her life?

8. Not making the next step. Talking online can
be fun but it is not enough to get to know a
person better and after a while it can become
boring. Talking on the phone can help you two to
develop the relationship and do not forget that
you can feel chemistry only when you two are
meeting face to face, touching each other,
feeling the smell of her/his perfume.

9. Beeing insincere, pretending that you are
something that you are not will lead you
eventually to the end of any relationship. So be
honest from the very beginning, maybe you have
just meat the mach of your life, don't take the
risk to lose her because of a stupid mistake.

10. Thinking that online dating sites are some
kind of shops where you can find a lover like you
find a pear of shoes, and if you are braking the
shoes you can go back to that shop and buy
another pair just like the first. It is not true,
every human, every soul is unique. If you lose
her/him it is for good.

So I am sure that you
will have problems like all couples have but it
is worthy to make the effort to solve these
problems together apply at least some of the 10 tips from the on line dating. 

Be happy that the technology gives you the chance
to meet your match online, but do not waste this
chance, it could never come back to you.
If you would prefer to discuss how you can have support and guidance
during these times of new challenges, you can call me Genovieve Feasey Relationship Solution Therapist/Coach. I offer a free consultation to help you get the best out of your online dating/ relationships!

Stressed Or Anxious In Your Marriage? Is It A Problem?

Stressed Or Anxious In Your Marriage?   Is It A Problem?


STRESS OR ANXIOUS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?

Hi Genovieve Therapeutic Relationship Solution Therapist, available in High Wycombe or Kent I've often asked myself the question "What do you do when the stresses of your marriage start to become a problem"? Many couples get mad and argue at one another. This will not do anything except make the problem worse. As a result and my own personal experience although very simple it's a matter of importance and putting these thoughts and actions in place daily to remove the Stress and Anxiety in your relationship. Here are some ways to deal with your stresses in your marriage: 
1.  Talk with your spouse on a daily basis. Communication with one another will prevent any
misunderstandings on certain issues.

2.  When a problem does come up, discuss your feelings and view points to the other person. Don’t
assume that the other person knows how you feel.
Do not take anything for granted in your marriage.
Small misunderstandings can become bigger problems in the future. Keep a look out for any red flags in your marriage and confront them before they become bigger issues.
Work with one another. Being in a marriage is like being on a team. Each member must do his or her own part. One person cannot do everything. Work with your spouse in maintaining your marriage.

3. Try to see things in your spouse’s point of view. This will help you to see where the other person is
coming from which will increase your understanding of the situation. Don’t assume that you are the one who has all the answers.
 
4.  Seek the services of a marriage counsellor if you can’t resolve your problems. There is nothing wrong
with seeking help. Maintaining a marriage is very difficult so it is important to get additional advice from an experienced professional. Many people seek the services of a marriage counsellor nowadays.
 
Marriage requires a lot of work, however the most important thing is to talk with one another on a
regular basis and to confront problems before they become major obstacles in your marriage. This will help reduce a lot of your stresses in your marriage. These Tips come from the horses mouth, I have and still put in place these practices as anyone can; if they truly want to communicate what's important to you to another and you clearly need to give it a meaning be clear, humble, contemplative, and patient for some one you care and love about to understand what it is you are wanting to get across!

Click Here to know more about Genovieve Feasey  from thechoicetochange.com, this is where you'll find my details or a 'FREE' 1/2  Hour Consultation to go over and get advice or guide to where you can be in your Marriage when you resolve your 'Stress' or 'Anxiety'.

Why do women love romance?

Why women love romance? 

It doesn't matter what shape or form it takes, whether it’s in the form of poems, moony songs, philosophical treatises, romantic notes, or angry letters, no aspect of any woman's biology can deny that it fills her 'Love Bucket' up! Women just love romance.  It has since ancient times been a driving force of life, well at least for women.   For men it has been just as long in remaining an utterly mysterious, experience that could be pondered over and still not truly understood.

But in the last decade scientists have discovered this question of why women love romance, is linked to the neurological nature of love by scanning the brains of those in the throes of it. These scans have confirmed what anyone who has fallen head over heels has experienced first-hand: love is a wild and woolly ride.

 As it turns out, your brain reacts to love the same way it reacts to cocaine. So you weren’t nuts to feel addicted to your beloved not the physical pain of withdrawal when she left you. Love lights up the reward centres of your brain and soaks them in dopamine, as well as serotonin and oxytocin. These neural fireworks set off feelings of euphoria, pleasure, craving, recklessness, and obsession.  So when you’re smitten, you’re literally flying high. But the high can’t last, and it isn’t designed to. Or so it was thought.

Researchers theorized that intense romantic love was only a temporary stage designed to make mate selection more efficient, and that once this powerful force brought two people together, it inevitably mellowed into attachment or “companionate love,” a stage that develops as time passes and the couple’s lives become intertwined. As opposed to the intensity of romantic love, companionate love is marked by a happy togetherness and a comfortable stability that is designed to keep the couple together to raise their children.

And indeed, that progression from romantic to companionate love can be observed in the majority of the population.

When researchers looked at the brains of those who had been together for years, the scans confirmed their theory; the regions that used to light up with romantic love had dimmed and been replaced by activity in the centres for long-term attachment and pair-bonding. Passionate, romantic love, researchers concluded, had an average shelf-life of about 12-18 months–up to four years at the absolute most.

But what about the elderly couple holding hands that your girlfriend points at and says, “Aww, I want to be like them?” The couples who claim to still be head over heels for each other even after a few decades together? Are they lying? Fooling themselves?  You’ll just have to work that one out for yourselves and find out why women love romance; experience the results and reply get in touch with me Genovieve Feasey Relationship Coach, High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire and Kent

Financial Problems In Marriage

Hi Genovieve here, Relationship Solution Therapist from HighWycombe and from Kent.  I was talking to a girlfriend the other day and we both came to the realisation how money and our finances has had an impact on our relationships in the past.

We talked about whether we could afford to first get married, then came issues of by or renting a home,  much later whether we could find the money to have children and only have on partner out to work.  Its goes on... 




Financial Problems In Marriage

We have all at some point in our lives disagreed or disapproved of how others like our mates, boyfriends or husbands choose to manage finances or spend money; our values and beliefs as individuals will be different permitting to our upbringing, morals and personalities. Is money so hard to understand financial problems in a marriage are definitely a true relationship killer and one of the most common marriage problems that unnecessarily result in divorce.
Money matters are quite simple when you ponder about it you can either afford something or you can’t and, if you can’t you have two choices, either stop spending money elsewhere or earn more money.
I’m looking for a new car at the moment which has really got me thinking about the number of people who fund such purchases on finance then struggle to make the repayments. Now I can understand the need for a car and that people aren’t always in the position to buy such an expensive item out right, but what does amaze me is the type of vehicles that people buy on finance.

One of my good friends always buys cars on credit and not any old car, cars such as Range Rovers, Mercedes and Jaguars, and yet struggles to make monthly mortgage repayments let alone fund the financing on the car.  As a family they look at us and envy the fact that we don’t have to worry when an unexpected bill comes in or if we want something we can just go out and buy it without any concern. That’s because we follow the main golden rule for avoiding financial problems in a marriage, we never spend what we haven’t got and we don’t waste money on unnecessary interest repayments.

It’s quite a simple notion really, if we want something that isn’t critical we wait for it, we only buy what we can manage to pay for. If we needed to take out finance for a car we would buy something that would do the job but not a luxury vehicle. Have you ever seen how many extravagant cars are repossessed and go through the auctions What a waste, just look at what is lost in the initial deposit and interest and then the cars lost and sold for peanuts to more the financially shrewd.

Anyway, back to my friends, there marriage is always under strain because financial difficulties are continually at the foresight of their minds. They never know from one month to another how they will fund the next mortgage payment or car repayment. Petty things get driven out of perspective because stress levels run high which all stems from the financial problems in the marriage. They get upset with each other and yet they are both to blame, they both want what they can’t afford and even though they earn far more than most, with every penny they earn their expectations increase, their spending escalates and the financial difficulties continue.
So many couples let themselves into financial problems just because they choose to ignore money issues, expect them to disappear, resolve themselves without any determination but, just like any other marriage problem financial issues need to be addressed, nipped in the bud before they become out of hand.

Fighting isn’t the answer, arguing doesn’t solve anything and it surely doesn’t address the real reason of the problem which is all down to supply and demand. In doesn’t really matter how the original problem happened, why money is now short and why bills can’t be paid and commonly the fault doesn’t tend to lie with one person, the question is how quickly are you both going to face up to the matter, get your head out of the clouds and start doing something about it.

I was speaking to a friend the other night and he was struggling with an issue from a totally different angle from his wife to be, forgetting the whole idea that marriage is all down to team work, working together to resolve anything that life throws at you. When you lose focus, fail to see what really matters in life, start disagreeing and fighting against each other rather than working together to sort such matters out you begin to chip away at the very foundations of what could be a solid relationship.

No matter how your financial problems in your marriage developed, blissful ignorance, credit card happy, making an important financial decision without discussing it or just spending too much every week, you have to now sit down together, focus on the issue at hand, forget what has happened in the past, how you got into the situation in the first place and put all your time and energy into sorting it out.

Don’t blame anyone, don’t go looking for a fight just sit down, detail your spending, detail your earnings and then work out how you close the gap. Support each other through the process, work together towards the same goal which is to learn to live within your means whether that be through working more hours, retraining for a higher paid job, finding opportunities to earn extra cash from home or just accepting you are living outside your means and working out how you can spend less.

Don’t let financial problems cloud your marriage, sort them out before you destroy something very special and live to regret it. Ask for help there are banks, financial advisors, friends and family, mediation and counselling too  to help you resolve disagreements or conflict and live happily.

‘Free’ Consultation for you and a partner simply go to…http://thechoicetochange.com/' Free' Relationship Advice In High Wycombe Or Kent fill in the contact form and request a ‘Free’ Session.

Why Is It Important For Women To Initiate Romance?

Oftentimes we, as women, leave our needs unexpressed and wait for our husbands to just guess what to do. Many men honestly don’t know how to be romantic. And, when they do get up the courage to attempt romance, their efforts may not be expressed in a way that we appreciate or even recognize as romance. Follow this link on utube   Why is it important for women to initiate romance  http://youtu.be/0aCw6SPRRYE

Look how silly this sounds. If your son was attempting algebra and didn’t understand it, you wouldn’t cry because he didn’t love you. As a mom, we’d sit down, and go over it again and again, for as long as it took until he understood. Yet, we expect our husbands to know something that they’ve never been taught. Instead of leaving your man to struggle, show him how to romance you. How will he know what to do if you don’t show him?   So, how can you teach him how to romance you?

1. Be romantic yourself.

If you show him that you value him and love him on a regular basis, instead of expecting him to be the romantic one, he’ll be more receptive to trying it himself. The old saying “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” definitely applies. Yelling and crying because he isn’t romantic isn’t exactly going to put him in the lovey mood.

2. Tell him what you like.

Do you enjoy expensive gifts or would you rather have him make something for you? Would you like him to go on walks with you? Give you cut flowers or live plants?

Make a list of every birthday, anniversary and holiday and include ideas for things he can buy or do for you. Set him up to succeed.

3. Learn what he likes.

The same thing stands for him. Know what makes him happy.   Please don’t buy him an expensive gift if he’s the frugal type. He won’t like it.

Don’t take him to a fancy French restaurant if he’s a Burger kind of guy. It’s ok to take him there for your birthday, but don’t take him there for his birthday.  If he loves sports, then go to them with him.

Please initiate romance. So often, women just get more and more resentful that they aren’t feeling romanced and their man has no clue what to do to fix it. There really should be a required romance course before you can get your marriage license. At least that way, men would, at some point in time, learn how to be romantic. Until then, it’s our job to show him just what we want and need to feel special. Now go Romance Your Man!

4 Tips To Keep Romance Alive – On A Budget

Hey here are some tips to help boost your relationship, and it doesn't have to cost the earth. Just use your initiative, spontaneity along with creativity to 'woo' back the person whom you with to be intimate with. If you feel you'd like some support in an area of Relationship Coaching I offer a 'Free' Life M.O.T Click Here...

Just about everyone agrees that a nice dinner and a good bottle of wine at a quiet, intimate restaurant will set the mood for romance, but have you seen the price tag? Not everyone can afford to spend big money on romance ever time, but a bit of creativity can get the same results without breaking the bank.

So here are 4 Tips to keep the romance going on a budget!

1. While most people know about ‘his and hers’ items like bathrobes and towels, there are a number of other items that can be enjoyed together as ‘couples’ items.  Try getting matching T-shirts with cute sayings on them.  Have matching his and hers overnight bags, coffee mugs, bicycles, cell phones, cars, holiday ornaments, tennis rackets, rocking chairs and even matching carved pumpkins on Halloween.

2.  Surprise your partner by making the ordinary a little more special. If he or she is enjoying a good book, remove the bookmark and replace it with a note that says, “I bet you’ll never guess where I’ve hidden your bookmark.” If they always turn the TV on when they come home from work, tape a note on the television that says, “Wouldn’t you rather turn me on?” instead. 

3.  Making important memories is one way to be romantic on a budget. Challenge your partner to remember the most romantic kiss that you’ve seen in a movie. This will lead to some discussion about romantic kisses and should enhance the mood. As a surprise, buy that movie one day and try to recreate that special romantic kiss! Keep it in a special place and re-watch it whenever the mood strikes. If you can’t agree on the single most romantic kiss, go ahead and create a top five list. This tip works for anything. The top five most romantic songs. The top five most romantic movies. The top five most romantic books. You see the pattern. Make sure to go ahead and buy the books, songs, movies or whatever so you can use them in the future.

4.  If you want to plan the ultimate romantic evening but funds are low or you simply don’t want to have to leave the house, shut down the electricity and imitate a power outage (it’s up to you whether or not you tell him or her!).  You won’t have any distractions or heat, so it is up to both of you to keep the other warm and entertain each other.
It’s hard to find anyone who doesn’t enjoy an Oreo cookie.  Take an Oreo (or generic version of one), scratch the top of the cookie until smooth and then scratch a heart and your initials into the smooth surface.  You can also make your own cookies and create personal messages.  Another version is to make your own cupcakes and frost them with special messages in red icing.  You can also give your spouse a true treat and track down a box of his or her favorite Girl Scout cookie.

So I hope this helps and your willing to have a go with boosting and keeping your relationship alive on 4 simple ideas on budget, it's possible it doesn't have to cost a fortune! Let me know how it goes keep in touch on the page below and let me know the outcomes!!! Best Wishes
Genovieve Feasey Relationship Solution Therapeutic Coach
www.thechoicetochange.com
Hypnotherapist, Psychotherapist in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire.

Are You A Jealous Lover?



Are You A Jealous Partner?

What do you do when that little, green eyed monster, as it's so often called, jealousy bites you? It can happen to the best of couples, no matter what stage your relationship is in. There's help out there if you just cannot fix the issue between the two of you.

Hi I'm Genovieve Relationship Therapist and Hypnotherapist, in High Wycombe, Bucks.  I specialize in helping in
awkward times when there is this type of Conflict and together we can look at ways to deal with jealousy, its history and what the commitment is from the two of you.  Life M.O.T  FREE Half Hour Consultation

Sometimes, it feels like there is no defense against this ridge building phenomenon. Most people are not jealous by nature but jealousy is usually put into action by some event, situation or another person.  If you are insecure about your relationship and very dependent on your lover you are likely to be jealous.  After jealousy creeps in we begin to spy on our lover, worrying about the situation and reviewing the evidence. Suspicion is a strong emotion here.

If we decide there is a threat to our love, we can have a very wide range of responses like clinging dependency, violent rage at the competitor or the partner, self-criticism, and depression with suicidal thoughts. But is there any way to conquer this feeling and overcome jealousy Here are some ways you can handle jealousy

1. Isolate the cause of jealousy. You may think that jealousy is caused by your partner looking sexy or by a certain person at work. But that isn't the real cause. That is just a symptom. Try to understand what the real cause is, so that you can then work on finding a solution.

2. Focus on eliminating one jealousy trigger. You also need to realise that jealousy can be overcome easily. So start out by focusing on an activity where you work through one of the main triggers for your jealousy and try to find the cause.

3. Build up your self-esteem. Most of the jealousy situations are caused by the jealous lovers feeling that they are not good enough for their partners. They feel inadequate and they feel that their partner would leave them for someone else, if given half a chance.

So here are some useful Tips above and it's best working through your insecurities and communicating them to your partner. The longer you resist the longer it will all persist!!!

If you feel so stuck and no one to talk too, confidentially I want to make you aware of my offer FREE Half Hour Consultation my details and website for further information is... http://thechoicetochange.com/contact/

10 Tips Of How To Make A Loving Connection.

10 Tips For Making Loving Connections Fast!

You know sometimes in the hustle of everyday life, it's easy to forget to tell our loved ones just what they mean to us.  But don't be put off as it doesn't have to take a lot of planning.  Love is in the little details that make up our lives. You’ll find me I’m Genovieve Relationship Solution Therapist in Wycombe, and even though  I Coach others, I  still choose to follow my own tips or what others say that works. None of us are faultless and we all are a working progress to getting our needs met by the right person’s. So...



Tips For Couples To Improve Connection.

Do you ever feel like you catch up with your partner infrequently, often late at night when you’re too tired to speak?  Or when your timetables happen to collide?  There are work dinners, school outings, sporting practice, dinners with friends, homework to supervise, household chores and so the list goes on.  Do you feel like you need to make a date night just to spend some one on one time with your other half?  Time when you’re not sleeping? 

If this sounds like you then I’m sure you will enjoy these tips for keeping each other close at heart, even if you can’t always be as physically close as you’d like. 

It’s all about communicating and sharing the little things that make up our lives.  Here are ten easy ways to make your feelings known:

1.       Birthday love letter.  There is something powerful about a letter.  A few years ago my partner and I agreed to write a love letter for each other’s birthday.  I think I picked it up from a magazine article about Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise.  Apparently it’s something they used to do in lieu of expensive presents.  Obviously it didn’t work for their marriage but we’ve found it has become the part of our birthday celebrations that we enjoy the most.  Writing down all the things that you love about the other person and then giving it to them is a very personal and thoughtful thing to do.  In many cases its better than any gift you could possibly imagine and something to appreciate and cherish even when the birthday is a distant memory.  You can do it for your children too if you have any and they will never need to doubt that you love them.   Of course, you don’t have to wait until it is your loved ones birthday to send them a letter – anytime is a good time to tell them how you feel about them.

2.       Sit down and talk about your day.  When we can we sit down at the table to eat our evening meal and take it in turns to talk about what we did in our day.  Even our two and a half year old joins in.  For a long time he would talk about who he saw rather than what he did but now he’s getting the hang of it.  The other thing we take it in turns to do is name the best and worst things that happened that day.  Sometimes so much happens each day that it helps to pause and reflect on what were the highlights and lowlights.

3.       Celebrate all your partner’s successes with them – from a high five to a glass of champagne.  Whatever the scale of the success calls for, make it a joint celebration.

4.       Allow yourself to be impressed by your partner and let them know.  ‘I’m proud of you’ is something that I think everyone loves being told by someone they care about.

5.       Never underestimate the power of a hug – train your kids to hug you back.  My five year old son Jack loves hugs.  He loves giving them and getting them.  Sometimes he will spontaneously hug someone if he feels they are a bit sad, although usually he asks first if they would like ‘a Jack hug’

6.       Send them a photo that means a lot to you and tell them why its important – you could use a Show & Tell Card.  It’s a new type of greeting card that lets you stick your photo on the front and is blank inside so you can write what you like.   Go to http://www.showandtellcards.com for more information

7.       Share an experience.  It could be a movie, a new CD, magazine article, or a short story.  Talk about what you read or saw and why you liked or disliked it.   And do it regularly.

8.       Compliments.  Everyone loves getting them so never pass up the opportunity to give one of these reliable mood boosters.  You can give them in person or write them on a small piece of paper and leave them somewhere unexpected for your loved one to find.

 

9.       Dance.  It doesn’t take long to find a great song you both enjoy, put it on and dance around the living room floor – probably 5 minutes maximum but it is a wonderful way to physically reconnect with each other in between dinner and desert or at the end of a long evening or you could make it an unusual way to start your day.   

10.   Thoughtful gestures.  Doing something unexpected, especially when you’re loved one is busy and stressed, is a lovely way to show that you understand what they are going through and that they have your support. 

Showing your partner how much you love them need not take a lot of time and you will be rewarded many times over for your effort.  Get loving today!
Genovieve Feasey Relationship Solution Therapist
Relationship Coaching in Wycombe, Buckinghamshire

Build A Lasting Relationship



Understanding Change In Relationships

Hi I'm Genovieve Relationship Therapeutic Coach, I have so many clients who feel like they are missing something because of change. How have you been with Change? When something changes, how do your react? Our relationships is bound change; nothing stays the same.  Sometimes it changes subtly and the ride is smooth. Other times the change can be enormous or we perceive it to be enormous.  Sometimes the change happens because one or the other person appears to have changed, and sometimes its is because of events or circumstances that we react to. Help is at hand you can contact me Click here...
Whatever it is, we must be prepared and be willing to change.  Change is a part of evolution, it happens whether we want it to or not. Relationships form their own momentum again.  It is only when we compare the before and after that we see it as better or worse when, in fact, it just is. I feel its important to adapt to change and bend and flow with it.  It might mean looking at your relationships differently.  You could talk with our loved one about how you feel about the perceived change and how it affects you.  Remember, you are only one aspect of the relationship.  Your loved one is the other and they might perceive the relationship differently.

Just being willing to change or to see things in a different way is enough to get us relating with more awareness and moving towards rekindling the magic.  One of the issues I see with clients, and indeed from my own marriage is a manipulative will.  This sorf of will can destroy a relationship.  Both my ex husband and I used it.  We both tried to get each other to do things for our own ends.  

As well as embracing change, it is important to remember the overall picture of what we, you and I want in our life.  we must hold it in our minds and, at the same time, honour the past because we would not be who we are today without our yesterdays and how we and our loved one used to be.

To be aware in your relationship, you must be yourself and stay with yourself.  what I mean by this is... Being aware of yourself, feeling confident in yourself, trusting yourself, knowing yourself and coming from your truth, and not trying to blame your loved one but saying how you feel because of what they have said or done or not said or not done.

I believed for many years that I was not a nice person if I thought of myself and wanted things for myself.  I believed it was being selfish and, instead, I should think of others.  I now believe that by taking care of ourselves and asking for our wants and needs to be met, we can be there for our loved ones. we can, in fact be really present in the relationship when we take care of our own needs and wants.  I have heard that "being selfish is truly 'Loving the Self' as long as we do not hurt others in doing so,".

Change can be difficult and when we or the other person changes, it can cause relational issues as the other person's status quo gets rocked and threatened.  it is important to be aware of everything that is happening, not just for yourself but for your loved one, too.  this does not mean you have to compromise yourself and stay with the status quo. You must be open to change, communicate your feelings and come to a loving compromise between you both.  this is a very different compromise, and one where you would be making a decision to find what works for both parties.

It can sometimes be useful to stand in the other person's shoes so as to understand what is going on form them and to see the situation from their perspective.  yes, literally, you can get a pair of their shoes and stand in them!!!  Or just pretend to be in them in their space, just like an actor stepping into a role on stage.  breathe as they do and sense what is going on for them.  our perception can be quite different from our loved one.  perception is one of the six faculties we have and by using it well and not making assumptions it can help us make love work.

If I can help you or your relationship  I offer a Free consultation with Genovieve High Wycombe which may help ease your thinking! 

Attract The Right Man... The Must Have Tips!!!

Where's The LoveWhere's The Love In Your Life?

So many people are complaining about the lack of love in their life. They act as if some stranger decided one day to take away the love out of their lives. They hold on to lovers already gone since eternity, or they dream about a partner coming into their life to give them everything they are not able to give themselves. They balance between hope and desperation. They look for love outside themselves and believe one day a charming prince on a white horse will knock at the door and take them away to live for ever happy in a castle for away from reality.

Other people are trying to survive in a bad relationship that holds their greatness hostage. They live in fear and anger every day but don’t know how to get out of this prison.

Do you know such people? Does this sound like you? Do you feel lonely, are you dreaming of the right one who will show up one day and end all the misery you’re going through now?

The bad news is this will not happen.

The good news is YOU can do a lot yourself to feel loved.

Let me explain.

Life is like a building. There are a lot of floors : the ground floor, the cellar, the first floor, second floor and so on. The higher you go in the building, the more light there is, the easier and lighter things are, the more friendly and energetic people are, the higher are the vibrations and most of all : the more love there is.

Picture this building of life in your mental eye. In the cellar you will find people like rapers, thiefs, harassers, killers, people who beat their children or companion and others who made a life out of hurting others.

On the groundfloor you will find a lot of people. In fact most of humanity lives here. These are the ones who content themselves by vegetating instead of living. They don’t think by themselves, they undergo life. They do nothing. They live like robots. They go to their job every day, come home every day, watch the same television program every day with a beer in one hand and a hotdog in the other hand. They do not dream. They are stuck in their lifestyle and think everything will always be the same.

Then you go up. As I said, the higher you get, the easier, the lighter life is. Life IS easy, life IS light. The cellar, groundfloor and lower floors are creations from the human mind. We created these lifestyles by our heavy thoughts, thoughts about scarcity, fear, death, anger, sadness, revenge and so on. Here are the lives of those who choose to think low energy thoughts. Those who live in fear, hate, jealousy, doubts, low self esteem, troubles. Those have bad relationships, where struggle and anger and negativity set the tone. They are not happy. They maintain the illusion everything is someone else’s fault and they have either to wait for the other to change, so their life will change, or they have to destroy the other one to have a better life (think of the one who kills the husband of the woman he wants to live with, or those who kill other minded people in order to be free to live like they want). This will never give freedom or love.

So what to do if you want to move up in that building of life and live free and in love?

First you have to make a decision. Yes, you have to decide WHERE you want to be. On which floor do you want to live your life now?

Is it the cellar? No, I don’t think so. Is is the groundfloor? I don’t think it either. Let’s say you want to be at the 17th floor. But you feel you are at this moment in your life at the 3rd floor only. You hate your job, you have a lousy relationship with your partner, you’re in bad shape and your energy is low.

So you decided you wanted a life in the vibration of the 17th floor, where there is love, real friendship, positive expectations, inner strength, power, a job you like, health and wealth.

What to do? You decided where you want to be. What you will do now? Should you wait until someone will knock on your door to take you there? No way! Will never happen! Even if you would meet someone with an energy level of 17, he will never carry you from the 3rd to the 17th floor, because he will be exhausted. It needs to be YOUR decision and YOUR action!!

So YOU have to move yourself up. How? Read! Read more! Read how you can create your life by changing your thoughts and your behavior! Go to workshops where you can learn how to unleash you inner power. Use the wonderful information bank which is called Internet and which offers you a bunch of positive information and e-courses (often for free). Surround you with loving people. Learn how to love yourself.

So first you decide where you want to be. Than you do whatever you can to get there, on your own. You may ask help of course, you may find yourself a coach (which is really a good decision!) but don’t look for somebody to carry you. You will fall down immediately the moment he puts you down. If you didn’t get there by yourself, it won’t last, it is not worth anything because you moved yourself up with somebody else’s energy and you are depending on his energy.

Once you get at the floor of your choice, let’s say 17, you will meet automatically people who vibrate at this level of energy. Energy-17 people. Loving, caring, wonderful people. People who feel good about themselves and who don’t need others to steal their energy. They learned how to generate energy by themselves. They are not slaves. They are not dominators. They love and respect others.

Do you want to meet someone like that? Do you want to share your life with somebody who has a 17-energy (or more)? Go there! Go at their level and you will meet them, that’s a guarantee!

Move yourself up.

If you live in a bad relationship right now, and you do whatever you can to get yourself moving higher, you will see what will happen. Your partner, who is still vibrating on energy 3 or 2 or on cellar-level won’t be able to follow you and you will take separate roads.

Don’t make the mistake of trying to pull someone up who wants to stay at his low level. You will never succeed. Especially women should be aware of this : don’t spoil your energy at trying to get others moving up with you. It’s a waste of time. Everybody should decide for himself. Don’t carry others on your back, you will crack down! Decide for yourself, go for it, and see what happens. The higher you get in energy-levels, the better it will be. There you will agree with me : life is wonderful!

To work on Issue's on attachments in past Relationships or Current you can call me Genovieve Feasey Relationship Counsellor and Trauma Specialist. Totally confidential Support to Resolving and Gaining the Love You Deserve!!!Where's the Love In Your Life?

Depression and Medication Effects Sexual Intimacy.

Depression and Medication Effects Sex

Sexual Intimacy.

Sexual side effects caused by antidepressants are completely recognized, but this represents a practical problem of managing to physicians. Erectile dysfunction, diminished libido and delayed/attenuated or absent orgasm (dysorgasmia or anorgasmia) are the most common sexual side effects reported because of antidepressant treatment.

However, sexual side effects caused by antidepressants are also a very challenge to clinicians, since they have to distinguish between sexual dysfunction (SD) associated with depression, treatment-emergent SD and pre-existing SD exacerbated by treatment.

Making the difference between these situations is quite important, since treatment strategies are not the same for the above mentioned SDs. Sexual dysfunction associated with depression may be treated raising the antidepressant dose, however, this would be particularly inappropriate for a treatment-emergent SD, in which case the appropriate thing is to lower the dose.

For managing appropriately antidepressant-induced sexual dysfunction, experts recommend that clinicians may attempt to alleviate the sexual side effects of a drug though a reduction of the dose and/or a change to an alternative therapy that may be less likely to cause sexual side effects. These strategies are more likely to be used in patients who are not responding fully to treatment and also risk sacrificing the therapeutic benefit of treatment.

Nonpharmacologic interventions are also recommended by experts. Behavioral and cognitive-behavioral techniques employed by sex therapists are the most common, although there are no studies evaluating their success in patients taking antidepressants.

There exist a number of medications quite useful in the treatment of sexual dysfunction associated with antidepressants. Under experts' opinion, the most common medications for antidepressant-induced sexual dysfunction fall into three categories:

Dopaminergic agents, such as amantadine and pramipexole.

a2-adrenergic receptor antagonists such as yohimbine.

Serotonin 5-HT2 or 5-HT3 receptor antagonists, including granisetron, nefazodone and cyproheptadine.

Contact Genovieve Feasey Relationship Coach/Hypnotherapist for Sexual Issues.

Parents Discussing Teenage Pregnancy

Teenage Pregnancy

I know a few years ago and until recently I was in the predicament of getting into discussions with both my boys on Sex, and Girls: which resulting in Un Protective Sex leads to Babies.

I written this article in light that many Young Adolescents will read this via the internet and If you are a parent reading this Article, you could break Old Beliefs and the Silences and speak to your children or bear witness that they could soon 'Become a Parent' themselves through ingnorance and poor communication.

Since the early 1990s, teen pregnancies across America declined dramatically. However, it is a teen pregnancy fact that 34% of teenage girls in America still get pregnant before they turn the age of 20. This means that America has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the world. As does England; in which one in every five births in the country is from a teenager. These are shocking statistics and adults and teenagers alike should be active in teen pregnancy prevention.

Talking about sex and pregnancy

When a child reaches the age of about 13, parents should be active in approaching their child about their thoughts and ideas of sex and the possible consequences of the act. Although it can initially be embarrassing for both parties, it will pay off in the long run as education and knowledge is the best way to prevent teen pregnancy. Talk to your child about the sexually transmitted diseases and the risk of pregnancy as well as pregnancy prevent methods such as abstinence and contraception.

Abstinence

The safest path towards teen pregnancy prevention is abstinence. Not having sexual intercourse will mean that you will never have to worry about catching any diseases or unwanted pregnancies which will ultimately change your entire life. Though there will undoubtedly be a lot of peer pressure to have sex, abstaining from sex now will only mean that you will be 100% ready when you do decide to take that step.

Contraception

The two most popular forms of teen pregnancy prevention come in the form of the condom and the pill. The condom is a rubber latex glove that is placed over the penis during sex to prevent semen from entering the vagina. The condom will not only protect you from possible diseases that can be transmitted through the semen but also from teen pregnancy. Teen pregnancy facts suggest that there are also a large number of teens now taking the birth control pill, and this number is increasing yearly. The birth control pill is taken every day and releases hormones in the body to stop your body from ovulating. If you don’t ovulate, then no egg will be released and therefore there will be no egg for the sperm to fertilize. If it is taken every day, the pill is very reliable in terms of pregnancy prevention. However, the pill does not stop you from catching sexually transmitted diseases and infections so you must still be careful.

The media often portrays teens regularly having sex. But you don’t need to buy into this. The media isn’t real and it is perfectly normal to wait until you are ready or for the right person to come along before having sex. The only 100% way to prevent teen pregnancy from occurring is to not have sex at all.  Contact Family Therapist Genovieve Feasey for Support or Advice  Contraception For Teen Relationships

A Parents Relationship with Children and Exercise.

Was Parenting Easier Forty Years Ago?

 As a mum in the millennium, I dream about the idea of parenting in a world where streets are safe and parents can let their children run freely through the neighborhood, their bodies naturally challenged with the exercise of play.

 Instead today, before the slam of the car door fades and the backpack drops on the floor, the TV is switched on and the last few hours of daylight disappear in a haze of video games and over processed snack foods.

 Even the concerned, well-meaning parent can often stand helpless, wondering how to compete against marketing genius and instant gratification. Exercise and carrot sticks have a hard time competing with Xboxes, SpongeBob and potato chips.

 The proof is all around us. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the health of too many British Children is in danger because of unhealthy lifestyles. (www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity)

 In America the latest data from the National Center for Health Statistics show that 30 percent of U.S. adults 20 years of age and older - over 60 million people - are obese. The CDC reports the percentage of young people who are overweight has more than tripled since 1980. In the UK, ths statics prove currently to be slightly lower, however massively on the increase to Childhood Obsesity.

 My young men/boys aren’t obese - why should I be concerned? I think i've done a reasonable job, in teaching them the meaning of Diet!

 Your kids are normal, right? You are parenting just fine. But in a world where walking is limited, school P.E. programs are being cut, and cars, elevators and buses eliminate our chance to exercise naturally, we need to make a concerted effort to make physical activity part of our day and our children’s days.

 Despite all the benefits of being physically active, most Americans are sedentary. (www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/contributing_factors.htm). Inactive children are likely to become inactive adults. (www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4596)

 So as parents how can we get our kids moving?

 I Read in an Article from the "The American Heart Association" it states and recommends that children and adolescents participate in at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity every day."

 The great news is exercise comes in many forms and can be a lot of fun! With a little creativity you can easily add some fun physical activity into your parenting style.

1. Lead the way 
You need to set a good example. Kids, especially younger children, naturally follow their parents. So make sure you are looking after your own health and making physical activity a priority in your life.

2. Do it together
In today’s overscheduled world, we need to make sure we are spending quality time with our children. What better way than to be active together. Since kids can’t be alone roaming the neighborhood, parents need to play with them.

3. Make it fun
Put on some music and dance. Play tag. Roller blade. Basically just play. Provide them with toys and equipment that encourage them to be active while having fun.
Bikes, scooters, hockey sticks and football will get your kids moving and active. For preschool children, ride on toys that get them exercising like pedal cars, big wheels and tricycles are always a great parenting decision.

4. Cheer them on
Create positive reinforcements with encouragement and support. Help them find sports and activities that build their self esteem. Attend their sporting events and let them know you are their biggest fan whether they win or lose.

5. Turn it off
Of course, we need to limit the time our kids watch TV and play video games. But make sure you do it in a positive way. If they are angry that you just turned off their favorite show, they might not be too excited about going out cycling with you.
Allow screen time during designated hours, preferably after homework is done and when physical activity is finished, like in the evening or on Saturday morning when tired parents might need to catch a few extra minutes of sleep.
Adding more physical activity into your family’s routine will help you all feel better and get you having more fun together. Most importantly, as you model a healthy lifestyle you will help instill in your children lifelong habits and healthy attitudes toward exercise and physical activity.

For Family Advice or Counselling visit www.thechoicetochange.com Genovieve Feasey FamilyTherapist in Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, and London.A Parents Relationship With Children and ExerciseFamily Therapy for Relationships