Why do women love romance?

Why women love romance? 

It doesn't matter what shape or form it takes, whether it’s in the form of poems, moony songs, philosophical treatises, romantic notes, or angry letters, no aspect of any woman's biology can deny that it fills her 'Love Bucket' up! Women just love romance.  It has since ancient times been a driving force of life, well at least for women.   For men it has been just as long in remaining an utterly mysterious, experience that could be pondered over and still not truly understood.

But in the last decade scientists have discovered this question of why women love romance, is linked to the neurological nature of love by scanning the brains of those in the throes of it. These scans have confirmed what anyone who has fallen head over heels has experienced first-hand: love is a wild and woolly ride.

 As it turns out, your brain reacts to love the same way it reacts to cocaine. So you weren’t nuts to feel addicted to your beloved not the physical pain of withdrawal when she left you. Love lights up the reward centres of your brain and soaks them in dopamine, as well as serotonin and oxytocin. These neural fireworks set off feelings of euphoria, pleasure, craving, recklessness, and obsession.  So when you’re smitten, you’re literally flying high. But the high can’t last, and it isn’t designed to. Or so it was thought.

Researchers theorized that intense romantic love was only a temporary stage designed to make mate selection more efficient, and that once this powerful force brought two people together, it inevitably mellowed into attachment or “companionate love,” a stage that develops as time passes and the couple’s lives become intertwined. As opposed to the intensity of romantic love, companionate love is marked by a happy togetherness and a comfortable stability that is designed to keep the couple together to raise their children.

And indeed, that progression from romantic to companionate love can be observed in the majority of the population.

When researchers looked at the brains of those who had been together for years, the scans confirmed their theory; the regions that used to light up with romantic love had dimmed and been replaced by activity in the centres for long-term attachment and pair-bonding. Passionate, romantic love, researchers concluded, had an average shelf-life of about 12-18 months–up to four years at the absolute most.

But what about the elderly couple holding hands that your girlfriend points at and says, “Aww, I want to be like them?” The couples who claim to still be head over heels for each other even after a few decades together? Are they lying? Fooling themselves?  You’ll just have to work that one out for yourselves and find out why women love romance; experience the results and reply get in touch with me Genovieve Feasey Relationship Coach, High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire and Kent