Relationship Therapy Blog

Thursday, 5 September 2013

How Will Your Health Effect Your Relationship?

How Will Your Health Effect Your Relationship?

Men do you know what health checks to have?

There are seven recommended health screening tests that all men should consider having run in the interest of their own good health and long life.  All seven tests may not apply to all men.  Four of these tests, however, do apply to all men at different ages.

Health Screening Tests for Cholesterol
Most men just don't believe they have High Cholesterol and don't take the time to have it checked.
For most men, you should have your cholesterol checked every 5 years starting at 35.
 How will your health effect your Relationship?
However, if you smoke, have diabetes, or if heart disease runs in your family, you need to start testing at the early age of 20.
If you are overweight - you need to get that check up now no matter what your age.

Testing Your Blood Pressure
You should have your Blood Pressure checked at least every 2 years. You need to see your physician for this. The blood pressure machines at the corner drug store may need calibration and are not accurate.
High blood pressure does not have any symptoms and you won't even know you have a problem until it is too late and a stroke cuts you off at the knees.

Colorectal Cancer Health Screening Tests
Regular Colorectal Cancer testing should begin at 50. There is more than one kind of test available, so don't chicken out. Just get it done.

Diabetes Screening
If you have high blood pressure and or high cholesterol, your physician is going to test for Diabetes. If you are overweight, your physician is probably going to run this screen at the same time as the cholesterol screening.

Prostate Cancer Screening
Talk to your doctor about the possible benefits and harms of prostate cancer screening if you are considering having a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) test or digital rectal examination (DRE).

Sexually Transmitted Diseases
You need to be up front with your physician on this subject. You also need to consider an HIV problem if you have ever had a blood transfusion. Hiding your head in the sands of denial will not change the reality of the situation.

Depression Screening
This is probably the most controversial subject after sexually transmitted diseases. Many men were brought up to "bite the bullet" and keep quiet about any problems they are having. Generations of women have complained that their men just don't share.
Everyone goes through periods of depression occasionally and for most people those periods only last for a few days and it is easy to say the reason why you are depressed. There are certain "acceptable" reasons for depression - losing a job, illness or death of a loved-one, or work stress just to name a few.

However, if you've felt sad, or hopeless, or have little interest or pleasure in doing things or if you just want to sleep all the time for a period of 2 weeks straight, talk to your doctor. You might find that with just a little help you can get back to your normal happy self.

Do not allow your Doctor to just put you on anti-depressants. Taking pills without doing something to change the situation or your attitude will only make it worse in the long run.
Remember guys, Real Men Take Care of Themselves in order to take care of others. Real Men Ask for Help and Directions when necessary. Real Men take steps to insure they will be around to bounce their great-grandchildren on their knee.

Friday, 30 August 2013

Will Your Relationship Survive The Menopause?

Do you Wonder will your relationship survive the 'Menopause'?  Couples going through menopause often have unique struggles when coping with the new changes and challenges it brings to them both as individuals, and as partners. It is an inner battle – mentally and physically – for not just women, but men as well.

Will Your Relationship Survive The Menopause?
For women, it may be hard to get a male partner to understand and be able to empathise with her challenges. But both sexes go through a form of menopause, and this transition is disruptive and even scary, and a certain level of understanding and communication is required for any one to have a quality relationship at this stage of life.

For some women, what can show up is pent up aggression, that is taken out on a male partner by pushing him away and/or making him unable to relate to you on a physical level. At this stage you may wonder will your relationship survive the menopause?  Men need to know that the loss of desire for sex may be caused from the hormonal changes, but there might also be an emotional element that needs to be dealt with.  It is advisable that men in menopause couples acquaint themselves with the effects of menopause, in themselves and their partners, in order to better understand the changes their relationship is going through.

Relationship Counsellor
Men soon realize that hormonal imbalances are causing unwanted emotional symptoms in women that could lead to verbal spats every now and then. Men need to be aware that emotional changes are likely to occur and that they are not to blame for them but that their partner may require extra attention, love and outward expressions of caring more now than ever before.

A partner needs to understand that their sexual drives could also have changed as they experience a slower loss of testosterone. To keep sexual interest, partners may need to put more time and attention into the quality of their sex lives and ‘update’ themselves on what things turn them on at this stag of the game.

Men need to know that a decrease in estrogen in their lover’s bodies – can significantly alter how she thinks and feels about sex. In addition, vaginal discomfort and thinning of the lining of the vagina can make sex painful so it will not be enjoyable for either of them until they find a solution for this.
More than ever this is a critical time for couples to communicate more about the changes they are both experiencing.  A man  can often lose a lot of the aggression that once fuelled their younger years and they are happier to stay home and engage in more nurturing activities, that they never paid attention to before, such as cooking.  Whereas for a women, on the other hand, we may want to venture out into the world and pursue a long-thought about career. They become more aggressive and passionate about accomplishing things.

In this way, the couple almost switch roles in the relationship. Talking a lot, expressing ideas, and bonding with one another again becomes critical during this transition. Maybe a man needs to know what is happening to their women on a day-to-day basis, and visa versa. A women may need to have their man  cheer them on as they undergo significant changes including dealing with physical discomfort, hormonal imbalances, and possibly venturing out into the career world for the first time!

A man could benefit by understanding that sex isn’t going away totally and they can survive the menopause.  Explore sexual alternatives and realize that having less sex is not the end of the world! Experiment with vibrators, and oral sex, if you haven’t already as these are fine alternatives and to maintain a healthy sex life. Women love toys as much as guys do. Menopause might mean taking more time for foreplay for some women. Get into a habit of communicating your needs to each other and learn to enjoy the changes instead of fighting against them.

The most important thing is that Male Partners provide a social network for their menopausal women to rely on. Realize that menopause is only a phase, albeit the end of the old and the beginning of a new one, and it’s possible to adjust to the changes by remaining aware. By staying informed of each other’s thoughts and feelings and becoming tolerant and understanding to the emotional pains women can go through, menopause couples can overcome most difficulties. And, who knows, you might like the new person you wake up to better! Think of it as another adventure. You will survive the menopause.

If all else fails please get in touch with me I offer assistance in this specialised area of Relationship Communication. Contact Genovieve Feasey Counsellor in High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. Or Rochester, Kent.

Friday, 23 August 2013

Hypnotherapy And Psychotherapy To Raise Your Confidence

How many of us are not confident about how we handle life’s situations? Truth is you may be confident in some area of your life but not others. Use Hypnotherapy And Psychotherapy To Raise Your Confidence

Find the Confidence Using Therapies
I grew up reasonably confident as a young child, later into young adulthood finding myself becoming shy about my looks, body. Became less comfortable about where and whom I would be with. In my young stages of motherhood I had the confidence and persistence to getting out and mixing with others for the sake of my children, later middle aged regressing again and becoming particular with whom I was socialising with. I noticed people around me would trigger less or more confidence.
 Hear What Anthony Robbins say's about overcoming 'Lack of Confidence'.

Recent years I've grown out of 'Dis Comfort zone'. I always stayed in the background and tried to make myself less noticeable. It was especially painful in-group activities that involved boys  later men. This was a major step for a young girl later woman to recognise my lack of self confidence and self esteem.
I have taken the steps to do some major therapeutic work on self, I used Hypnotherapy And Psychotherapy To Raise My Confidence which has helped me to clearly recognise the discomfort with how I and others relate to me. My journey over 10 years has had me discover what I love or dislike in my life, fulfil ambitions, take challenges and calculated risks to feel peaceful and enthusiastic about life.

I wonder if this ring a bell for you? How do you  confront what you don’t want to in your life? How do you achieve what you Desire? Oddly enough it was my Son's who really inspired me and  their friends. At 12 years old they signed up for courses and activities. It was something they really wanted to do. They taught me how pursue your dreams and enjoy life in the moment, they taught me how to be comfortable in my own skin in front of a lot their friends and not to be shy they were very accepting and judgmental.

When you have confidence and poise you will stand out and even if you don’t feel completely comfortable having an awareness of this, helps to overcome it. Often you see people in sports with the same confidence. If you make yourself look confident (act as if) soon you will realize that you are. Motivational posters in your home or work place are a great way to remind yourself what you are wanting to accomplish. There is a great motivational video's which offer Hope, Inspiration, Belief in where the next steps can lead us with being Courageous and Persistent “Have the courage to stand out”. Have confidence and poise and you will stand out!
Enjoy the adventure!

Thoughts and Feelings from Genovieve Feasey Relationship, Trauma Psychotherapist, Coach. High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire.  Rochester, Kent. Member of BACP and Member of GHR find me in the  (Click here)... U.K Counselling Directory

Friday, 16 August 2013

10 Tips To Get The Best From Online Dating.

How to Get the Best Results from Online Dating.
Would you let a person you have just  met online to
change your life? Are you willing to do this?  Do
you trust someone you have met this way? In this article I am (Relationship Coach In High Wycombe) offering 10 Tips to get the best from online dating, have a read and improve your chance to change your romance.

SOME people simply do not have the courage to let
an online dating/relationship to develop and change in a
normal healthy relationship. Are you one of them?
Let me re-ensure you that online dating/relationships
really are working, and yes it can change your
entire life, in a good way.
10 Tips To Get The Best From Online Dating

But there are some impediments or mistakes which
are leading to the end of the relationship
between two people that could have had a good
future together these 10 tips to get the best from online dating can be effective read on:
1. First of all if you do not take people you are
taking to too seriously, you will be treated the
same way.

2. Being too secret and reserved. If you do not
tell things about you and you are not working to
develop a relationship, nobody will make this for

3. Trust or lack of trust is the biggest
impediment of an eRelathionship. You have to try
to get the people you are taking to trust in you,
and then find out if that person is a trustworthy
one. There are so many ways to check out this.

4. Being shy. If you are interested in someone
and you want to meet her/him offline, let her/him
know this.  What do you have to lose?

5. Fear of disappointment or fear of becoming a
victim of someone with bad intentions can make
you paranoid. It is good to be preventive but not
exaggerate about this. It is not funny and will
pull people away.

6. Unbelieving. If you do not believe that an
eRelathionship can become something more then it
is, you will not pay too much attention and...
You get exactly what you give and some more, don’
t you?

7. Do not make that relationship a priority in
your life. Any human needs to feel that is
important for someone, that is the center of
someone life, even if you have meet that human
online. Don’t you feel the same? Wouldn't you pay
more attention to someone if you would know that
you are a priority in his/her life?

8. Not making the next step. Talking online can
be fun but it is not enough to get to know a
person better and after a while it can become
boring. Talking on the phone can help you two to
develop the relationship and do not forget that
you can feel chemistry only when you two are
meeting face to face, touching each other,
feeling the smell of her/his perfume.

9. Beeing insincere, pretending that you are
something that you are not will lead you
eventually to the end of any relationship. So be
honest from the very beginning, maybe you have
just meat the mach of your life, don't take the
risk to lose her because of a stupid mistake.

10. Thinking that online dating sites are some
kind of shops where you can find a lover like you
find a pear of shoes, and if you are braking the
shoes you can go back to that shop and buy
another pair just like the first. It is not true,
every human, every soul is unique. If you lose
her/him it is for good.

So I am sure that you
will have problems like all couples have but it
is worthy to make the effort to solve these
problems together apply at least some of the 10 tips from the on line dating. 

Be happy that the technology gives you the chance
to meet your match online, but do not waste this
chance, it could never come back to you.
If you would prefer to discuss how you can have support and guidance
during these times of new challenges, you can call me Genovieve Feasey Relationship Solution Therapist/Coach. I offer a free consultation to help you get the best out of your online dating/ relationships!